Huntsville, Ala., is not known for its love of sex toys. In fact, Alabama itself has banned the sale of our favorite gag gift (no pun intended) unless you can present some I.D. and explain how you need a vibrating penis for “medical reasons.”
That’s why we’re thrilled to announce that Pleasures, a local sex toy chain that has somehow thrived in the face of, you know, laws against its very existence, will open the nation’s first sex toy drive-thru window this weekend.
On Saturday, Pleasures of Hunstville, run by the legendary free-enterprise champion Sherri Williams, will have Pleasures Party Girls giving out vacation tickets, lube and gift cards to the first customers who show up to its new, state-of-the-art sex window. Sadly, there won’t be naked female tellers at this drive-up dispenser, only cloaked and anonymous sex slaves who offer the store’s wares via a deposit slot.
That sounds way more sexual than it really is, but we think you get the point: anonymous, drive-up dildo buys, discreet customer service and a misleading bag to throw the scent of the prudes — or your wife. We expect a mass exodus to — of all places — ‘Bama by week’s end.