Beer Label Warnings

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers have accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer containers:

Here are some of the best

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning
and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can’t remember).

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.

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